Don't forget me, Egypt!

So I am home now in Atlanta!

Remember when a lady called me and said God thinks I should relax and chill out cause He will do everything I want to accomplish in Egypt?
Well it happened.
God sent more than enough donations for ALL the apartment needs at the orphanage!!
This happened a week before I headed back to Atlanta.
And the other goal of having the children meet a counselor, I wrote this the day of:

I just said bye to the loves of my life. Everything was sealed and done. They cried on my  shoulder and I told them I loved them, and what came from the heart, went to the heart. But the best thing of all, is I have two girls with me now in a taxi, and we are off to a psychologist. Out of months of turmoil and pain and struggle and tears, this is what I get to do last in the orphanage. I get to accomplish a goal that took everything in me. And when I ask how they feel, they reply "ready to be healed", yes my dears and loves, you don't have to be tormented any more by the sexual abuser. You don't have to hurt yourself anymore. Your heart is sacred and you are important; it will just take some time and some help from someone. There is hope.

With this, I say, thank you God. On my shoulder, taxi ride, Cairo. 

So how was my time at the orphanage concluded? Well, since it was my birthday, they made a HUGE surprise celebration, with lots of gifts, cake, food, and fun!

But when the staff left and it was just me and kids at night, alas, things got crazy. Milk, flour, cheese, salad, onions, oranges, lemon...whatever your heart desires: ON MY FACE.

This is not good bye, I just have this feeling I will back soon!

Let's not forget the sweet family celebration my grandma had for me:

Every time I leave this country and place I feel this bitter sweet feeling. It's like: I am ready to not be harassed on the streets, not struggle to go places through public transportation and sweat and crowds, not wake up at the sound of honks and yelling in the street or loud barking dogs, not face the polluted skies and air. But there is something about this place, about these people, that makes it so perfect and fitting. There's something about the kindness and hospitality, the deep human connection with each interaction whether a family member or stranger, that makes Egypt such a beautiful mess to me. Maybe because it's home, or maybe because there's an unrelenting attachment my heart has to this country, like a mother to her son, I'm not sure why and how- but I know I am coming back.

Coming to my other home was such a bitter sweet feeling as well. Tasting the comforts, the creepy silent roads, the crisp cold air, the hugs of my mom, dad and brother. It's all so great, but missing the crazy of Cairo. But I love it here too. I am not sure of where I belong or where is home, but I know that home is where you are with people you love and they equally love you back and for me that is here and there. So let it be. :)

Thanks all for following me on this journey! You have all been such a HUGE blessing to me in so many ways. Love love love. 

Nearing the end!

I have had some exciting adventures! I figured since I've been working hard lately (cough cough, not really...) it's about time to travel around. I had a friend visit from Atlanta, and took advantage of having her to relax and have some fun together :)

So off we went to Alexandria:

Beautiful Mediterranean Sea!

We went sand boarding:

Yes, I fell and hurt my knee pretty badly, but thankfully the MRI scan shows normal results!

Then we went to LEBANON with another friend:

Lebanon stole my heart....

Then after my friend went back to the States and we returned to Egypt, I went to Jordan to visit another friend there :)

So yes, it has been busy! But in the midst of it all, I am SO grateful.

Orphanage:
After conducing emotional evaluations on the children and meeting with them individually to follow up and see who needs more professional type counseling, I began to feel a sense of rush and urgency to get them proper help. I was having a meeting on a Sunday at 3 pm with one of the staff workers at the orphanage and I was emphasizing the need to rush and get a counselor. She was telling me that some times things take time, but impatient Lydia was not interested in hearing these words. "But the children NEED help, and we can't sit silently and watch!."

The next day, a lady called me. This lady was the one that tried to help me find housing four months ago, but unfortunately it was too expensive for me. I have met her once, and talked with her a week after to tell her I'm not interested. She is not my friend on Facebook and knows very little about me. "Hello?"
"Lydia, it's been a while!"
Yes it has, so why are you calling me....? (I thought).
"I am not sure if this is applicable or not, but yesterday around 3 (same time as the meeting), I had a feeling God wanted to tell you something. He says don't rush, it's ok to wait. He will do everything you want to accomplish in Egypt before it's time to return."
I seriously had no words to say back. It is exactly what I had needed to hear! I was feeling the sense of urgency, and I thought I was justified in having this feeling because I am trying to do good and I'm trying to help children. But I realized, even when doing good, patience and wisdom are essential.

So since that phone conversation, I have relaxed on the goals I have. Maybe "relaxed" isn't the right word, but I mean that I have had peace and started believing that I can trust things will work out, without me working so hard to make them work, but trusting God's got things covered.
Three weeks later, a counselor I have been trying to reach and had no luck with getting in contact with, called me! She said she's available to have two girls come to her office for treatment. Yes that took a while, but there is something SET. A goal is accomplished! All I had to do was: trust.

In addition, I am fundraising for the children's apartment needs. If you are able to give, please email me. Here's more information on what's needed:
file:///C:/Users/Racquel/Desktop/Egypt%205%20months/Merry%20Christmas.pdf


It was my last day at one of the nonprofits, and they surprised me by bringing me a gift/cake! How sweet!

So what's next for me? I have absolutely no idea. In a week I'm off to Atlanta. Christmas and reuniting with family and friends will be great. I have no idea though, what's after? I have applied for jobs here and there and am applying for a Masters (but that doesn't start till August). So what's there to do till then? I have to admit, I'm really scared of unbusy lifestyles. I love my life here and how I have managed multiple projects with multiple people. To feel like the door is closing, seems sort of heart wrenching. Not sure if I'm ready to see it all close, but I have a feeling it actually isn't closing. 

We shall see. I like adventures. 

Thank you all for being alongside me on this journey :) 

Blessings!

I love this place

Hello lovelies!

It has been a while I believe since I updated so here's a bit of what's been happening (the shortest and most basic of summaries):

Orphanage:
Weeeee, finally came down to four goals. Since this whole time I have simply been observing, I feel now these goals come out of a place of more understanding of the children, staff, and culture of the place:

1) counseling- 1) evaluate who needs general counseling and professional counseling 2) bring a consistent trusted psychologist to the place
2) move children to better schools- need to go on tours to examine cheap but good schools
3) new mattresses and pillows and clean their apartments
4) create teamwork between the leaders and managers at the place

So I have been learning the power of listening. It really affects the children. I mean...what do you do when a child takes you to her room and decides to share the story, with every fine detail, of the day her mother died? You listen, and it does matter.

Today I gathered around twenty of the children to give them an evaluation test to see where they are mentally and emotionally (hopefully these results will help determine who needs professional counseling). One of the girls told me very blatantly "No, I will not attend!" I asked why and she said she didn't want to in a very defensive manner. I usually would have gotten a bit angry in this situation thinking to myself "why can't you just listen to me! why is it so hard to get you guys to do things? why is there no sense of discipline and why is it that when an adult tells you to do something you have to rebel and say no?" But then Jesus reminded me of what I was reading earlier this morning in Matthew 14. Jesus heard bad news about John the Baptist's death, so he went to be alone for a bit, but the people followed him and wanted him to heal them, instead of being annoyed, he had COMPASSION on them and went to heal them! Later on in the chapter, Jesus got to finish his alone time and out of this alone time with the Father, he was able to feed the 5000 and walk on water too. That morning I prayed that God would take my spirit of anger and impatience with the children and instead give me compassion like His. So, when the girl refused rudely, I felt him say "go talk to her and see why." Turns out its because (though she's 13) she doesn't go to school and doesn't know how to read and write. So when she heard me telling the girls to go inside for a quick test/evaluation, she got so insecure and felt it won't be her place. Ahhh, that is the root of the problem. I am realizing, children's discipline issues and rebellion is mainly coming from a place of brokenness in their lives, they desperately need healing and thankfully Jesus's compassion can do that.

Aside from that, we had a great time going to Center of Love the other week, an NGO at a slum that helps the handicapped. The high school girls from the orphanage really love going to serve there. Last time it involved me dressing as a clown. Yes, I almost died because when you're in a clown costume, apparently children actually believe you are out of this planet and thus can be kicked and trampled on however they please. All of a sudden you're expected to perform a show and dance and be silly: WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS! In fact, I DIDN'T. It was me and 5 other girls from the orphanage, on our way to Center of Love we were arguing about who will wear the clown costume, since no one wanted to wear it I came up with the brilliant idea of putting each of our names on a piece of paper and letting the driver pick a random name, whoever it was THEY HAD TO WEAR THE COSTUME! Alas, he picked a paper, and there it was- Lydia. BUT WHYYYY.
It was worth it though! :)

Documentary:
Our filming has progressed so much! We were able to record events and interview more people. I am so excited for this, so I don't want to say more until it just comes out. That probably won't happen anytime before March, but maybe we will make a trailer or something :)

Other:
It dawned upon me the other day that once I return to Atlanta on the 19th of December (yay I will reunite with loved ones but so so so sad I will be leaving Egypt) I basically have NOTHING planned. So I need to apply for jobs. If anyone knows a job they feel will suite me, or even have a suggestion for an organization I can look into, let me know!
I'm also applying for grad schools these days, which would start in Fall 2015. Pray I get in somewhere!!

Random stories:
Metro story:
I entered a metro and saw two policemen, immediately I hated them. Yes, hated. This is something I wrote on my phone during the moment:
"police in front of me in metro. I try not to color myself to how I should be but be who I am in this writing because I know it's between me and myself. I have feelings of anger and hatred every time I see a policeman. Why is that? They are humans. Given orders. Aren't you also trying to enforce the law and justice and that which is right and good. Isn't it also your goal (Lydia), that which is theirs. Why are we in opposition? Why do I love all but them, why do I stray from overgeneralizing when it comes to every group but theirs? Why do I globalize them, scope them all together as corrupt? I hate them, I forgot they are human. My eyes only saw their uniforms, and my heart didn't even look. My mind over powers in this one.
I want my eyes to see injustice and a fighter of it, not caring for the uniform making one a police or not.
Women are next to me talking about marriage; this woman is so upset her man married over her and is being convinced by her mom and brother next to her to just stay in the marriage, "but is it not my right to tell him to divorce me?" she says. Yes, yes it is your right! Please don't listen to all those around you.
One of the policemen just stoop up and gave up his seat so that an elder man can sit in it. Is this because of his good heart and manners or is it just a duty inflicted on him externally by society?
Why did he give up his seat? Would he have given up his life, likewise, for his country? Maybe the answer is yes, and maybe I should see them beyond their uniform, maybe they are also just human."

And these were just my thoughts. I have found that I have the greatest desire to share in writing my thoughts in specific moments, so my phone is now full of just personal notes. I think sharing with certain close friends has also been good, but I know I can't share every single thing, so I have become a friend to myself and it is beautiful to explore that.

I love Egypt, because I have the warmest of moments here. They are moments where I am never alone. In a metro or on a busy street. I am never alone. It can be fifty of us all crammed, strangers, but touching, don't know each other, but smiling and talking to each other. It feels like the Egyptian people are all just one big conglomeration of a family and some of my best moments are quick ones where I and a stranger smile when we both hear the kid next to us telling his mom that he's an elephant. I feel this oneness and unity with the people. I love when I enter a pharmacy just to ask what's name of the street I am on, and the owner is sitting with her husband having dinner and she insists I join them for a meal. I love it because she doesn't know my name, and she's poor, and doesn't have teeth but she commands me "sweetheart come eat." I love when an old taxi driver tells me "take care of yourself daughter and remember Allah in all you do" and advises me on roads I shouldn't take at night.The Egyptian people, yes we are full of mistakes and yes we could use more humility and education and anger management, but we really know how to love and welcome each other and that is something I love about home.



This is all for now! I love you all very much. I appreciate all the prayer and support and love and kindness you each display to me :)

Thinking out loud

Orphanage has been going. The need does not stop. The prayer keeps rising. The patience for change is being tested. Good still.

Documentary has been going. Slowly but surely, in the most sneaky of ways it is coming together little piece by piece. 

Random encounters have been good. Keep increasing and getting more interesting as I realize the main reason for stagnant corruption in this country is a belief system based on ignorance, racism, sexism, and prejudices and a quick destruction of any thought of openness, acceptance, and fighting for change.

Nonprofit number one has been going. Translating and researching documents. The work is much, but joyfully we complete it.

Nonprofit number two has been going. Visiting schools to introduce to them our anti sexual abuse training. Writing statistical reports on program evaluations. Experience after another, thankful. 

But I am in Egypt. I have two months left. Where has the time gone and why is it going down the drain before I capture it and its every moment? I have become so busy with much work, and I realize I need to wake up and see that I am in Egypt and these moments and these seconds don't and won't come back. Home is soon approaching and this home of mine here is soon departing. I want to keep learning. I want to keep talking with strangers. I want to keep experimenting what it means to love a place and a people without the superficial, shallow, quick, short-term mindset of easy love today and kissing good bye tomorrow. Five months of service and positive optimism in this place is great but it is not sufficient. Maybe I've done a decent job so far, but I am far from understanding what it means to endure and keep going in service and selflessness without a deadline- a finish line that I see that keeps me motivated in my present. I have yet to understand what it means to work towards a long-term goal where the finish line is simply and solely when that goal is actually accomplished, not when my majesty decides to get up and leave and go back to a life of comfort and bliss. I am thankful for the experiences I have had in my life that were many but short- the multiple internships, the six months travels, the casual changes of a college semester that brought newness every short bit. But there is a time where I find a deep question mark in me: if I didn't know this season was to end soon, would I still love-serve-give-wake up and go everyday with this energy and motivation and optimism? Or would things grow weary and my energy run dry when the end isn't in sight?

These are all thoughts. 

I love being here, but I love being there too. I love them here, but I love them there too. I have indifference towards home, because home itself has become something unknown. Is it there or is it here, or is it heaven with my Jesus? I have become clueless on what I can call myself- an Egyptian, and American, or maybe just a loved child of God? I lack the knowledge of what will come next, a job, a masters, or maybe just the will of Him who made me? I can choose to live in the past with thoughts of memories, I can choose to live in the future with ambitions of tomorrow, or maybe just live today with a mind set on above? 

Maybe when I live not knowing, I actually fully depend on my Maker and such lifestyle becomes the essence of the best long-term influence, the most impact full change, the most outstanding accomplishment I seek to bring in any environment. Maybe the answer to my deep question mark is: yes. Yes I would keep going and even running, because it wouldn't be me, but Christ living in me.

Somebody to lean on

Hello!

Egypt has been getting cooler, finally. I mean, yes I still sweat during the daytime, but the nights are getting cooler! THANK YOU GOD.

Orphanage:
This was the toughest week thus far being at the orphanage. Tutoring English has been great and fun, but I mentioned to the kids that they're welcome to also just talk to me about their life and how they feel. Around five girls came individually to just talk and I wasn't expecting to hear or handle what was said. The tissue box is now empty, they cried their eyes out. I never knew there was so much pain and hurt in their lives, but then again, they were brought here for a reason...

"My mom, she doesn't have much. My dad sold us, he's selling our house so he can travel and find a better life. This house was supposed to be for my siblings and I when we grow older and have families. He left us and took it. My brother, he beats my mom up because he's on drugs. He doesn't mind killing anyone, if it means he gets more drugs. My sister, she messes with every guy in our neighborhood, sleeping with different ones to get money. My little brothers, they were bullied in school and I would try to defend them, but couldn't. My mind is not able to feel anything or see any hope. I saw my own mother get beat up in the streets, and I couldn't do anything about it." 14 year old girl

"Imagine, you loved your grand father so much, and then one day, they call you and tell you what you never wanted to hear. He died. The one that took care of me all my life and made sure everything I wanted I had. He died. When he left me, my mom would bring men to our house that weren't good. They would touch me, and I wouldn't know what to do. Now I'm here, and I still find myself doing bad things when I'm in the shower. I'll take a pillow and hug it and hold it tight and kiss it. All the girls will laugh at me and it makes me feel so ashamed, so I go to the roof and hurt myself with the rocks because I feel so dirty and disgusting. I don't know how to stop, it feels like something inside me is pulling me." - ten year old girl

And more stories.

When I saw and heard it all, I couldn't help but feel two completely opposing things 1) I am sure God can provide them with the hope and healing they need! 2) This is awful. This is miserable. This is not ok! I felt I went slightly insane those days. Which is why I called on some friends and family to pray for me. You know who you are. Your skyping with me, your facebook messages, your emails. They traveled thousands of miles and comforted me. I'm not alone. There is an army of lovers standing to support and pray for these girls that are hurting.
I was praying for them and saw an image of each girl running in a field so free in the sun. So happy and joyful, no chains to bind her and no hurt or shame. Turns out, one of my friends who prayed for me (and got her roommates who don't know me to pray for the situation as well), prayed exactly for that image- running in fields of freedom. :) So it's coming. It's on its way.

On a brighter note, we were finally able to start going to the slum with the NGO that helps the handicapped. The high school girls from the orphanage really enjoyed their visit and on our way back they were brainstorming how they can help the kids they met next time they go "we should bring balloons and music!" "We should buy them candy!" We found that the older handicapped girls were learning to make jewelry, so we decided to help donate some items to them as well as help them sell their items so they can have an income. We will be going weekly :)

Also, we went out to distribute chocolate bars to strangers on the street again. One of the high school girls suggested we stop a mini bus on the street and give the driver a bar. She explained "they're always so angry and hate everything in life! We should should give them chocolate to help them feel some love." So we did just that, and everyone on the bus was starring at the girls while they gave the driver a free chocolate bar. He smiled SO big, while the passengers were in shock- not understanding what exactly is happening. :) :)


Documentary
We planned on shooting on Thursday, but by Wednesday, we didn't have the materials we needed to shoot- for example a video camera (may be helpful when making a documentary....).
One of the nonprofits I work for had a conference in a beautiful desert place two hours away from Cairo. I had planned on going Thursday then shooting on Thursday night, but the staff at the nonprofit convinced me to attend Wednesday instead of Thursday since the lectures were going to be more relevant to my age. I was really against going Wednesday, because I had other plans (like going to a mental hospital and going to a church meeting at night). Regardless, I decided to go on Wednesday to the conference after their insisting requests.

During the break at the conference, a Swedish man asked if I can help him translate while he interviewed random workers from the nonprofit and recorded them. He wanted to make a video of their work so he can send it to donors abroad. I agreed.
Mid translating, my mind thought "wait a minuteeeee....he has equipment! Maybe he can let us borrow it for tomorrow's shooting."
So I asked him, and he agreed :D and thus we had equipment 24 hours before we had planned to shoot. The funny thing is, this Swedish man was only at the conference on Wednesday!
So the next day I passed by his place and borrowed the materials, and went to the American University of Cairo where I met my team of two music technology ladies and we starting recording. Then we went back to my friend's house and interviewed more people on the street as well as her family. Awesome time!

Another crazy thing. We found out about two professional documentary makers that are making a documentary in Egypt about sexual harassment on the street, they've raised over $27,000 so far to start filming and producing their documentary- so being hopeful I decided to message them and see if we can collaborate and if we can highlight them in our documentary as people that are doing something about the issue of harassment. They agreed to meet and were really sweet about it! We will be meeting next week, inshAllah.

Randoms

So what am I learning? That friends are good to have and God is good and has a good plan.
What am I struggling with? Doing human rights work and advocacy. It may be because I don't know where to begin exactly, but all I do in regards to my human rights passion is read and read and read about abuses in Egypt and get sad.
What's happening next? Taking some time off from work for Eid and going to Zagazig (small city 2 hours away from Cairo) to spend time with family.

Thanks all for reading and being awesome!!! Love love love.

When it's no longer the beginning...

Well well well. A LOT has happened since the last post. So read on my friends.

Housing:

I have a place! It's the apartment of my relative that lives abroad. She has agreed to let me have a roommate. Here's how I found my roommate:
I was getting out of the metro once and though I didn't need to cross the street, I decided to cross it in search of something I needed to buy. After crossing, I realized I really didn't need to cross the street to buy what I needed. So here I was looking like a fool that just crossed the street and is now returning. Then, I saw a girl that looked incredibly familiar, like a girl I used to intern with at the Carter Center. I looked at her a couple of times, but after creepily staring, I realized it wasn't her.
But then she looked at me.
"Lydia? Do you remember me?"
"Umm, hi?" It WASN'T the girl I interned with! But turns out I know her from a long time ago from my extended family's church. We connected and found out she needed a roommate in Cairo (perfect), She works towards women's rights with an NGO associated with the UN (also perfect).
Long story short, we now live together and it's awesome :)
Let's not mention though the huge amount of cleaning and repairing my dad and I had to do on the first day of moving in (thanks dad). The place didn't have a fridge and till now we don't have a working one. Just today our neighbor downstairs decided to bring a man to my apartment to fix the leaking water dripping on him from our toilet. So no, it hasn't been an easy move in. But hey, I got my three requests 1) AC 2) WiFi 3) close to the best Metro station!

Orphanage:
I've been having so much fun getting to know the kids more and tutoring them English. We had an awesome man/supporter visit from Atlanta. We went out with him and 20 kids to a store near by the orphanage to buy snacks. He made a deal with them to buy ten chocolate bars and give them to strangers on the street. I added a twist of asking those strangers if there's anything they need prayer for. The kids were THRILLED and ran to strangers and gave them chocolate bars. They told us the people's prayer requests: a woman needed help for an eye surgery, a man wanted a wife (haha), some homeless kids needed a place to live...etc. It is truly a blessing to give!
When I saw that, I realized- why not make this happen more often? So I contacted a friend of mine that owns a nonprofit in a slum near by the orphanage. This nonprofit helps plenty of handicapped kids in the area. I asked the orphanage girls if they would be willing to serve there twice a month and with cheerful hearts they said YES! So on Saturday, we will be going. Hoping it will be a good time and experience :)

Documentary:
Yes, it has begun! We got a team now of three, and two will be added. We have decided to film a documentary on random complaints about the Egyptian society, then highlight heroes and folks that are already doing work to better the country and reverse the pattern of what is wrong. I am really excited for this project. Our first meeting was yesterday, and I'm ready to start! Please pray we would enjoy the process rather than stress over it. Also pray for protection, police don't normally enjoy the idea of cameras on the street...

Random story:
Being here, I really like to talk with people I barely have anything in common with. I have little adventures of mine, they're so simple, but so worthy to me. I was trying to get from downtown to the mountainous areas of Cairo/where the orphanage is, which is pretty far. I took the metro to a random stop, then got out and walked on a random street. Took a taxi to a random bus stop, and talked with the lady next to me. Old woman, wrinkled face, fallen teeth, so simple, so poor, complaining about how 2 LE ($1=7.3 LE) is too much to pay for a bus ticket. There was one line she said, I won't forget "my daughter, I feel dead, but no one cares." Her sorrowful eyes looking into my soul. Dead? Why so and how? I've began to see these sorrowful eyes in every Egyptian's eye, in mine too. There is a president a lot of people love, and he's trying to bring economic growth, but there is still wrong happening, there are still people imprisoned simply for opposing his rule. He's turning off foreign funding for any civil or NGO society working and dealing with the rights of humans. There are still those in death penalties, and ones on hunger strikes gaining no medical attention. There is still a law against protesting, and major fines and penalties against journalists speaking against the regime and being activists. I can find myself, also with eyes of sorrow and death when I look at these things. We walk and we eat and we go to work, and few of us have looked up at the sky recently to see that there is goodness. There is God and there is love and there is beauty. We are so weighed down by things here, the food we can't find, or the country and security we think we lost, the stories of yesterday we thought would change, there's a sense of hopelessness and the worst- numbness. Numbness to what hurts or even what brings life, coldness and bitterness towards what makes a human feel- like he's a human. It's something my words can't explain, but if I can dare to simply point up, and hope that I before anyone else can taste and see there is right and love and hope and peace right HERE in God, and if those around me can look up too, then we will truly be living. Then, we won't be dead.

With that said, I'm glad to be here! I'm glad to be trying to look up.
I'm glad to be no longer a beginner in Egypt. I'm now in the beef of my trip. The good part.

Making the most of things!

Well, those of you that have read my last blog post, I got a bit of news for you.

Housing: 
The housing did not work out. I scheduled a meeting with the Guest House lady and went to see the place. First, it surprised me that it was not close to the metro like I had imagined. I took the metro to the nearest station, then had to take a taxi for a good 15 minute drive to the place. In addition, the price was not what was agreed on on the phone conversation. Yes, a bit frustrating. So I decided to look elsewhere.

In the struggle of looking elsewhere, I searched three more places. One of which is the apartment of a relative that does not live in Egypt any longer. She agreed on me having other roommates and renting the place together; things were going pretty solid, until she changed her mind and decided its risky to bring in strangers in her apartment. Given that I can't be in an apartment alone (family does not agree), I'm back to my search. Not sure where it will end up being, but I'm hopeful? I have decided to let go of my need for an AC wherever I end up living. The weather should calm down soon, right? And also, I've decided to higher my budget. But it's still a struggle finding a suitable place, mainly cause it's temporary and also cause I want a place near the Metro so I can be able to go anywhere anytime for 1 LE, and also mostly cause I'm a girl, and Egypt isn't the safest place.
Pray :)

On another note, I've started my work at the orphanage and another nonprofit.

Orphanage: 
it has been amazing getting to know the place more. Though my dad started it and I used to go there as a child, I really have been clueless on how the place actually runs and how many kids are there/what they are like. There are a handful of kids that I've known since I used to visit here and there throughout the past ten years, it's really great seeing them grown and actually taking care of the little boys and girls now.
I am taking a focus on counseling along with teaching English while I'm there for the coming three months. I have sat down with their counselor and we decided to create a day of training for the five staff members taking full care of the kids along with other staff at the place that only come during the day. The purpose of the training is to teach them about teamwork along with essentials and basics for taking care of children that come from harsh backgrounds/ how to discipline them in a healthy manner.
Lately, I've been stressing having an organized schedule of counseling for each child. I feel they really need to be heard and given one on one time. I found out one of the girls has schizophrenia, yet has never been treated. The reason for that is the lack of a person to take her to a professional psychiatrist weekly. I volunteered to help out with that, and tried to get her to simply talk with the counselor at the orphanage. "But I don't like her, I heard she talks too much!" she said. After much convincing, she went, and as I joined in on the session, I realized...she was a bit right. More talking was done by the counselor than listening. I am confident that the counselor is knowledgeable and has more experience than I do when it comes to children, but I feel listening is crucial as well. I hope to be able to share that with her wisely. She's older and the culture here really respects the idea of "older=more authority/always right". The session was still good regardless, the girl benefited from some Bible stories the counselor said and we ended with prayer.
I also got to know three kids that just recently joined the place. Their father left them a year ago and their mom barely makes an income working at a sewing company. The 14 year old girl was working at a nursery to try and help provide for her 4 siblings and mother. But it was too difficult, so three out of the five siblings were brought to the place. It's not uncommon at all for kids to rigorously work in Egypt to help their families with income.
My dad and I were getting a smoothie at a sit down restaurant (oh yes, my father is here for a 12 day visit). One of the servers was really short and looked like a kid. we decided to ask him how old he is:
"I'm 12."
"So do you work a couple of days a week?"
"Every day, 3 am to 4 pm."
"How much do you get paid per day?"
With a big smile he says "30 LE" ($4.2)
No days off, nothing. His brothers were with him too, working hard.
So when the 14 year old girl that just recently joined the orphanage was telling me she worked at a nursery to get an income, I wasn't surprised. It's awful. But it is reality. A reality I hate.

The other nonprofit: 
I've been attempting to find them new donors and grants. They are a nonprofit that has multiple programs that help the poor/rural workers create their own projects through micro loans and generate an income in order to become self sufficient. I've only been going once a week, but the environment there has been extremely welcoming. Egyptians really care about giving you a cup of tea and talking about life. Though I'm used to just getting down to business when in a work environment, I've found that that's simply not how things go around here. So I'm learning to lay back a little.

The third nonprofit:
This is a nonprofit that deals with sexual abuse in Egypt. It aims to teach children how to avoid it and how to not inflict it as well. I'm in charge of writing them newsletters and also training their volunteers that will soon go to schools (I think in November) to teach the kids against sexual abuse. I have yet to start working there because their internet was down for a week, and also my "boss" was going through a personal situation. I start on Monday.

Friends: 
I've been meeting with old friends I had made while in AUC and AIS (my semesters in Egypt during high school and college). It's been refreshing having friends that speak English and eat sushi. I treated myself for sushi the other day, and I was the happiest person alive. I also met a girl through a mutual friend who was born and raised in the USA, but is in Egypt for a semester or two to get to know the culture. It's been nice talking to her and showing her around. It makes me feel like I know this country more than I thought I did.
I've also met other random people and new friends and heard their life stories. I love listening and learning from people's experiences.
I am trying to also get to the place where I too talk and share about my side of the story, but for some reason I'm finding a difficulty doing so. I share little things here and there, but for some reason I seem to be more comfortable listening. Maybe it's a seasonal thing.

Five Little Things and Stories:
1) I was standing outside a store under their shade for 5 minutes waiting on a friend to come by. The man in charge of the store came out:
"Do you want a chair ma'am???"
"No thanks I'm good"
"I'll get you a chair" off he runs inside.
Two seconds later, with a chair "here you go, sit! sit!"
And I sat.
I mean, who does that?

2) Some of you may be familiar with the amount of street "hitting on girls" harassment that every single Egyptian woman encounters daily whenever she's walking the streets. I am told the best way to deal with a man calling me hot or telling me he wants to take me home or whispering things I can't hear or whistling or honking, is to simply look down and ignore him. Act like he's not there. Mind you, this is the method that has been used for years by most women, and I'm sorry- it's not working. So I am trying something new.
I was walking to the orphanage. A guy in front of me had his neck bent and his face staring at me for a good five minutes, I really prayed something would show up in front of him and he would bump into it and get hurt (bad prayer). He was whispering some stuff and kept looking at me. I yelled "Look in front of you!" He was shocked and I think started cussing me out. Thankfully I was in a public area and people were everywhere, so I actually kept saying "look in front of you!" until I took a turn to stay away from him (though I didn't need to take a turn). That was my first time feeling in control of who looks at me and who says inappropriate things to me. I'm a woman and I have a voice and I am not an object, and it completely strips me off my dignity for a man to think he can look at me and stare at me all he wants and say all he wants. So I have every right to tell him to stop, and I will take advantage of that right.

The next time this happened, a man made some remarks at me. I ignored him. But then he kept following and making comments. I stopped, looked him in the eye and yelled "ENOUGH". Another shock. I like it.
I'm trying to be VERY wise when I do these types of things. I've been told a man can kick me in face if I yell at him, or he can think that my responding to him means I like what he's doing and am asking for more (what kind of logic that is, I'm not sure). But I am tired of being silent. You would be too, trust me.

3) I went to church the other day. I usually go and come back by taxi, takes around 12 minutes (yes, I'm very exact...). After church, I like to walk to Tahrir Square (home of the January 25th Revolution). I like to walk by it and remember what people did three years ago, how they didn't mind dying for the sake of freedom . The other day, I decided to walk home from Tahrir Square instead of taking a taxi. Beautiful walk. Some of you may have seen my facebook post about it :)

4) My grandma has been trying to get me a gift, I'm not sure why (she says it's for my birthday, which is in December...). But I told her all I want is popcorn. The next day when I got home from work, I found a bowl of popcorn on the table. You guys don't understand how loved I felt. Really. I didn't even take off my shoes. I took the bowl, sat on the sofa, and ate that bowl up.

5) The little 6 or 7 minute documentary video that y'all wanna see is still not available. As in, I haven't been able to get a copy of it yet. But once I do, I'll post it on here.
Meanwhile, I want to make a short 30 minute documentary with a Music Tech friend of mine. She'll be in charge of the background music. I'll be in charge of other things. I want to record the lives of five completely different people here in Egypt. From young to old, rich to poor. Nothing special they do. Just what they do on a daily day, their commute, their conversations. How will all this happen and when? I'm not sure. But I really want to do it, which is why I'm writing it on here, so you guys keep me accountable.

This is about all I can squeeze out of me for now! Thanks all for reading, there's always a whole lot more going on, but I can't type it all. I type what sticks out.
Blessings to all who actually read all this post. I know I said a lot. Also, some of you send me replies that are so encouraging, they make me cry. Thank you so much for this love and support! 

Something is over...

I am putting *** next to the things that are actually exciting and worth the reading, so if you're in a hurry you can just go to these paragraphs. 

Well, last night was officially the last night of the Human Rights training program. I must say, it has been one interesting ride. Different feelings, mixed with physical exhaustion, yet the mental determination to keep going. It was an experience I won't forget. From all the material I've learned, to all the people I've gotten to know, to the countless things I've learned about myself- I'm grateful! 

The last five days of the training I got a chance to learn how to record and produce documentaries. My teammates and I were able to summarize the 20 day training we had in a six minute documentary we recorded. I think I found a new hobby here. It made me realize how selecting certain images to display to the viewer can influence feelings and thoughts the viewer will have. The production team is actually in charge of so much more than just showing a picture. Every. Little. Detail. COUNTS. For someone like me, who always stresses "big picture" or "general meaning", this was really challenging, yet really eye opening. 

Now is the morning of my first day in Egypt with no agenda and no plan. It feels a bit overwhelming (now what?), but a part of me trusts there are good things to come. 

Housing story:

****As you all know, I've been staying with my grandma and aunt for the past three weeks, but have been trying to find another place to stay that has WiFi, better AC, a more comfortable bed, and the freedom to do what I want without having to explain it to my lovely protective family (it's been sweet of them, but I need some space...ehem..). 

2 years ago, I was at church in Atlanta. A lady tapped my shoulder and asked "are you Egyptian?" We connected. Turned out she is the CEO of an NGO in Egypt that deals with sexual abuse. We would talk here and there, but nothing too serious. A couple of weeks before I came to Egypt, I saw her at a wedding. My parents asked if she knew of a place for me to stay in Egypt and she explained that her NGO has a guest house for people that volunteer for them, especially those that come from outside Egypt. After receiving this exciting news, I followed up with the guest house to ask about their price, and sadly it was way too high for my budget, so I dismissed the idea, still hoping to volunteer for her NGO.

About a week ago, I set up a meeting with her so we can further discuss my ability to help out. That same day was particularly exhausting at the Human Rights training, yet I still had planned to meet with her along with visiting two other housing places people here had told me to check out. After my training, I took the metro and visited the first housing place, then the second. I was really discouraged because they weren't that clean or comfortable at all. I was still willing to try them out, but prayed I would find something better.

Afterwards, I took a taxi to the lady's house and we talked. It was an amazing conversation about her passion and vision, along with my skills that can help her NGO out. After we were done she asked if I had found a place to stay. "Funny you're asking me this now, cause I have just spent 3 hours visiting places and not really feeling comfortable with them," I replied.

"Why don't you consider our guest house?"

"Sadly, the price is too high"
"No dear, let me call the guest house director, she'll give you the price you want."

Off she dials and calls the director. "Yes, Lydia my friend wants to live at the guest house, but your price is too high. Half the price for her. Ok? Here Lydia, take the phone."

I was in shock, as you can imagine. "...hello? yes..umm.."

They told me I'm more than welcome to come and pay whatever price I want. 

This place has AC, WiFi, comfortable beds, a kitchen, washing machines, AND it's next to the new metro line which has AC! Everything I wanted, better and cheaper than all the other housing options. 

And thus, God provided housing. On my way back home that day, I couldn't help the smile on my face "God, you really care. You really provide." :)

So what's next?

In a couple of days I'm officially moving to the new place. Then starts my time at the orphanage, the NGO, and another nonprofit I'll be helping once a week. In addition, I'll be visiting a mental hospital every other week with a guy that's been here in Egypt for a couple of years now and has been serving and changing the place for better. He told me he visits the mental hospital and I was really interested in also going so I can talk with the women (since he's not allowed there).

I think that's a good schedule for now. I'm sure new things will come and go, but I hope I also learn to give myself some rest.

I'll be better at staying in contact now that I'm not in a strict schedule. Thanks to all who read and care and love and encourage and pray and support and believe in me. It means so much! 

Pray that I stay humble through this experience and keep learning new things. Pray that being alone on this journey doesn't affect me but would rather strengthen me. 

Love you guys!

Just the beginning!

It's been around ten days here in Egypt. I'm not sure where to begin. To all who care to read on and to all who have reached out to me recently, I love you guys. It truly matters to me to know there is an army of "encouragement warriors" behind my back. No matter what, I know I got trusted folks in my life, so thank you.

I've been going through an intense twenty day human rights program with the Cairo Institute of Human Rights (it will end August 30th, every day from 9 am to 6:30 pm, no days off). At first, I was scared my (bad) Arabic skills would cause a deficiency in my ability to mix well with the group of 50 other young people, along with discussing and giving input during lectures and workshops. What I have realized is, most people really like you if you've lived abroad, and most Egyptians, no matter what, will always encourage you. I've witnessed a huge amount of love from this group of 50 people, maybe it's cause they all care about humanity and human rights, or maybe it's cause God's just blessing me. Either way, we have become a good family here. We are all so different. We have a Syrian girl, a man from Afghanistan, a Bahaai, a Nubian (southern Egypt), liberals, conservatives, Muslims, Christians, Atheists, homosexuals all sorts of people. But we all learn to respect and love one another, it feels like a bit of goodness in a land full of what many like to call "hopeless misery". At first, I was so hesitant and shy, but I forced myself to play guitar/sing "how He loves us" at an Open Mic session, and I feel since then (along with all the love and encouragement I receive here), I've opened up more and started speaking up :)
Our lectures include topics on refugee rights, housing rights, education, women, children, suspect/victim rights, police brutality, death penalty, poverty, and so much more. I'm learning so much!

Aside from that I've had the chance of visiting the orphanage once, along with visiting another nonprofit I'll be volunteering for. Currently, I live with my aunt and grandma in downtown Cairo. I'm looking for other places to continue my stay till mid December. It's been nothing but a joy. But a different kind of joy. The kind where you feel like you're in a dirty pit, but you can look up and see a light, and you get excited because you feel there is hope.

I was walking down the street with my music on. The sun's heat (it's only 101 degrees...) was hitting my skin, my sweat was dripping, but heart was glad I was in my country. A car was parked on the side of the road with a pleasantly plump woman inside it devouring a cake. She took the wrapper and threw it out the window on the ground. I picked up the piece of trash and said "we are trying to make our country clean, ma'am." Surprisingly, instead of cursing at me, she apologized. Here I was proud of myself for "saving the world", and ready to find a trash can. My spirit soon felt sad as I realized, there are no trash cans, and even more so, I found piles and loads of trash on the side screaming at me "Lydia, we are here, you didn't do anything by picking up one piece of trash". I had a choice at that moment, I believe. Do I just throw away the wrapper in my sweaty hand to join it's other buddies on the ground, or do I stick through and try and find a trash can? Stubborn Lydia waited and after 20 minutes of walking, finally found a trash can. This whole story for me goes so much deeper than what simply happened on the surface. It feels that in the coming four months I'll have to face the choice of sticking with an extremely small and seemingly non-influencing action, or give in to the darkness and corruption that oozes out of every corner in this country.
I hope I make the right decision each time. It will come with strength and your prayers.

That should be all for now. Though I have so many more stories to share, I think I wouldn't be able to fit them all here. I plan on updating each week, but that may not happen, given how busy I am these days. Either way, I appreciate you all for following and caring :)