Hello lovelies!
It has been a while I believe since I updated so here's a bit of what's been happening (the shortest and most basic of summaries):
Orphanage:
Weeeee, finally came down to four goals. Since this whole time I have simply been observing, I feel now these goals come out of a place of more understanding of the children, staff, and culture of the place:
1) counseling- 1) evaluate who needs general counseling and professional counseling 2) bring a consistent trusted psychologist to the place
2) move children to better schools- need to go on tours to examine cheap but good schools
3) new mattresses and pillows and clean their apartments
4) create teamwork between the leaders and managers at the place
So I have been learning the power of listening. It really affects the children. I mean...what do you do when a child takes you to her room and decides to share the story, with every fine detail, of the day her mother died? You listen, and it does matter.
Today I gathered around twenty of the children to give them an evaluation test to see where they are mentally and emotionally (hopefully these results will help determine who needs professional counseling). One of the girls told me very blatantly "No, I will not attend!" I asked why and she said she didn't want to in a very defensive manner. I usually would have gotten a bit angry in this situation thinking to myself "why can't you just listen to me! why is it so hard to get you guys to do things? why is there no sense of discipline and why is it that when an adult tells you to do something you have to rebel and say no?" But then Jesus reminded me of what I was reading earlier this morning in Matthew 14. Jesus heard bad news about John the Baptist's death, so he went to be alone for a bit, but the people followed him and wanted him to heal them, instead of being annoyed, he had COMPASSION on them and went to heal them! Later on in the chapter, Jesus got to finish his alone time and out of this alone time with the Father, he was able to feed the 5000 and walk on water too. That morning I prayed that God would take my spirit of anger and impatience with the children and instead give me compassion like His. So, when the girl refused rudely, I felt him say "go talk to her and see why." Turns out its because (though she's 13) she doesn't go to school and doesn't know how to read and write. So when she heard me telling the girls to go inside for a quick test/evaluation, she got so insecure and felt it won't be her place. Ahhh, that is the root of the problem. I am realizing, children's discipline issues and rebellion is mainly coming from a place of brokenness in their lives, they desperately need healing and thankfully Jesus's compassion can do that.
Aside from that, we had a great time going to Center of Love the other week, an NGO at a slum that helps the handicapped. The high school girls from the orphanage really love going to serve there. Last time it involved me dressing as a clown. Yes, I almost died because when you're in a clown costume, apparently children actually believe you are out of this planet and thus can be kicked and trampled on however they please. All of a sudden you're expected to perform a show and dance and be silly: WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS! In fact, I DIDN'T. It was me and 5 other girls from the orphanage, on our way to Center of Love we were arguing about who will wear the clown costume, since no one wanted to wear it I came up with the brilliant idea of putting each of our names on a piece of paper and letting the driver pick a random name, whoever it was THEY HAD TO WEAR THE COSTUME! Alas, he picked a paper, and there it was- Lydia. BUT WHYYYY.
It was worth it though! :)
Documentary:
Our filming has progressed so much! We were able to record events and interview more people. I am so excited for this, so I don't want to say more until it just comes out. That probably won't happen anytime before March, but maybe we will make a trailer or something :)
Other:
It dawned upon me the other day that once I return to Atlanta on the 19th of December (yay I will reunite with loved ones but so so so sad I will be leaving Egypt) I basically have NOTHING planned. So I need to apply for jobs. If anyone knows a job they feel will suite me, or even have a suggestion for an organization I can look into, let me know!
I'm also applying for grad schools these days, which would start in Fall 2015. Pray I get in somewhere!!
Random stories:
Metro story:
I entered a metro and saw two policemen, immediately I hated them. Yes, hated. This is something I wrote on my phone during the moment:
"police in front of me in metro. I try not to color myself to how I should be but be who I am in this writing because I know it's between me and myself. I have feelings of anger and hatred every time I see a policeman. Why is that? They are humans. Given orders. Aren't you also trying to enforce the law and justice and that which is right and good. Isn't it also your goal (Lydia), that which is theirs. Why are we in opposition? Why do I love all but them, why do I stray from overgeneralizing when it comes to every group but theirs? Why do I globalize them, scope them all together as corrupt? I hate them, I forgot they are human. My eyes only saw their uniforms, and my heart didn't even look. My mind over powers in this one.
I want my eyes to see injustice and a fighter of it, not caring for the uniform making one a police or not.
Women are next to me talking about marriage; this woman is so upset her man married over her and is being convinced by her mom and brother next to her to just stay in the marriage, "but is it not my right to tell him to divorce me?" she says. Yes, yes it is your right! Please don't listen to all those around you.
One of the policemen just stoop up and gave up his seat so that an elder man can sit in it. Is this because of his good heart and manners or is it just a duty inflicted on him externally by society?
Why did he give up his seat? Would he have given up his life, likewise, for his country? Maybe the answer is yes, and maybe I should see them beyond their uniform, maybe they are also just human."
And these were just my thoughts. I have found that I have the greatest desire to share in writing my thoughts in specific moments, so my phone is now full of just personal notes. I think sharing with certain close friends has also been good, but I know I can't share every single thing, so I have become a friend to myself and it is beautiful to explore that.
I love Egypt, because I have the warmest of moments here. They are moments where I am never alone. In a metro or on a busy street. I am never alone. It can be fifty of us all crammed, strangers, but touching, don't know each other, but smiling and talking to each other. It feels like the Egyptian people are all just one big conglomeration of a family and some of my best moments are quick ones where I and a stranger smile when we both hear the kid next to us telling his mom that he's an elephant. I feel this oneness and unity with the people. I love when I enter a pharmacy just to ask what's name of the street I am on, and the owner is sitting with her husband having dinner and she insists I join them for a meal. I love it because she doesn't know my name, and she's poor, and doesn't have teeth but she commands me "sweetheart come eat." I love when an old taxi driver tells me "take care of yourself daughter and remember Allah in all you do" and advises me on roads I shouldn't take at night.The Egyptian people, yes we are full of mistakes and yes we could use more humility and education and anger management, but we really know how to love and welcome each other and that is something I love about home.
This is all for now! I love you all very much. I appreciate all the prayer and support and love and kindness you each display to me :)
It has been a while I believe since I updated so here's a bit of what's been happening (the shortest and most basic of summaries):
Orphanage:
Weeeee, finally came down to four goals. Since this whole time I have simply been observing, I feel now these goals come out of a place of more understanding of the children, staff, and culture of the place:
1) counseling- 1) evaluate who needs general counseling and professional counseling 2) bring a consistent trusted psychologist to the place
2) move children to better schools- need to go on tours to examine cheap but good schools
3) new mattresses and pillows and clean their apartments
4) create teamwork between the leaders and managers at the place
So I have been learning the power of listening. It really affects the children. I mean...what do you do when a child takes you to her room and decides to share the story, with every fine detail, of the day her mother died? You listen, and it does matter.
Today I gathered around twenty of the children to give them an evaluation test to see where they are mentally and emotionally (hopefully these results will help determine who needs professional counseling). One of the girls told me very blatantly "No, I will not attend!" I asked why and she said she didn't want to in a very defensive manner. I usually would have gotten a bit angry in this situation thinking to myself "why can't you just listen to me! why is it so hard to get you guys to do things? why is there no sense of discipline and why is it that when an adult tells you to do something you have to rebel and say no?" But then Jesus reminded me of what I was reading earlier this morning in Matthew 14. Jesus heard bad news about John the Baptist's death, so he went to be alone for a bit, but the people followed him and wanted him to heal them, instead of being annoyed, he had COMPASSION on them and went to heal them! Later on in the chapter, Jesus got to finish his alone time and out of this alone time with the Father, he was able to feed the 5000 and walk on water too. That morning I prayed that God would take my spirit of anger and impatience with the children and instead give me compassion like His. So, when the girl refused rudely, I felt him say "go talk to her and see why." Turns out its because (though she's 13) she doesn't go to school and doesn't know how to read and write. So when she heard me telling the girls to go inside for a quick test/evaluation, she got so insecure and felt it won't be her place. Ahhh, that is the root of the problem. I am realizing, children's discipline issues and rebellion is mainly coming from a place of brokenness in their lives, they desperately need healing and thankfully Jesus's compassion can do that.
Aside from that, we had a great time going to Center of Love the other week, an NGO at a slum that helps the handicapped. The high school girls from the orphanage really love going to serve there. Last time it involved me dressing as a clown. Yes, I almost died because when you're in a clown costume, apparently children actually believe you are out of this planet and thus can be kicked and trampled on however they please. All of a sudden you're expected to perform a show and dance and be silly: WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS! In fact, I DIDN'T. It was me and 5 other girls from the orphanage, on our way to Center of Love we were arguing about who will wear the clown costume, since no one wanted to wear it I came up with the brilliant idea of putting each of our names on a piece of paper and letting the driver pick a random name, whoever it was THEY HAD TO WEAR THE COSTUME! Alas, he picked a paper, and there it was- Lydia. BUT WHYYYY.
It was worth it though! :)
Documentary:
Our filming has progressed so much! We were able to record events and interview more people. I am so excited for this, so I don't want to say more until it just comes out. That probably won't happen anytime before March, but maybe we will make a trailer or something :)
Other:
It dawned upon me the other day that once I return to Atlanta on the 19th of December (yay I will reunite with loved ones but so so so sad I will be leaving Egypt) I basically have NOTHING planned. So I need to apply for jobs. If anyone knows a job they feel will suite me, or even have a suggestion for an organization I can look into, let me know!
I'm also applying for grad schools these days, which would start in Fall 2015. Pray I get in somewhere!!
Random stories:
Metro story:
I entered a metro and saw two policemen, immediately I hated them. Yes, hated. This is something I wrote on my phone during the moment:
"police in front of me in metro. I try not to color myself to how I should be but be who I am in this writing because I know it's between me and myself. I have feelings of anger and hatred every time I see a policeman. Why is that? They are humans. Given orders. Aren't you also trying to enforce the law and justice and that which is right and good. Isn't it also your goal (Lydia), that which is theirs. Why are we in opposition? Why do I love all but them, why do I stray from overgeneralizing when it comes to every group but theirs? Why do I globalize them, scope them all together as corrupt? I hate them, I forgot they are human. My eyes only saw their uniforms, and my heart didn't even look. My mind over powers in this one.
I want my eyes to see injustice and a fighter of it, not caring for the uniform making one a police or not.
Women are next to me talking about marriage; this woman is so upset her man married over her and is being convinced by her mom and brother next to her to just stay in the marriage, "but is it not my right to tell him to divorce me?" she says. Yes, yes it is your right! Please don't listen to all those around you.
One of the policemen just stoop up and gave up his seat so that an elder man can sit in it. Is this because of his good heart and manners or is it just a duty inflicted on him externally by society?
Why did he give up his seat? Would he have given up his life, likewise, for his country? Maybe the answer is yes, and maybe I should see them beyond their uniform, maybe they are also just human."
And these were just my thoughts. I have found that I have the greatest desire to share in writing my thoughts in specific moments, so my phone is now full of just personal notes. I think sharing with certain close friends has also been good, but I know I can't share every single thing, so I have become a friend to myself and it is beautiful to explore that.
I love Egypt, because I have the warmest of moments here. They are moments where I am never alone. In a metro or on a busy street. I am never alone. It can be fifty of us all crammed, strangers, but touching, don't know each other, but smiling and talking to each other. It feels like the Egyptian people are all just one big conglomeration of a family and some of my best moments are quick ones where I and a stranger smile when we both hear the kid next to us telling his mom that he's an elephant. I feel this oneness and unity with the people. I love when I enter a pharmacy just to ask what's name of the street I am on, and the owner is sitting with her husband having dinner and she insists I join them for a meal. I love it because she doesn't know my name, and she's poor, and doesn't have teeth but she commands me "sweetheart come eat." I love when an old taxi driver tells me "take care of yourself daughter and remember Allah in all you do" and advises me on roads I shouldn't take at night.The Egyptian people, yes we are full of mistakes and yes we could use more humility and education and anger management, but we really know how to love and welcome each other and that is something I love about home.
This is all for now! I love you all very much. I appreciate all the prayer and support and love and kindness you each display to me :)
